

Ryan started crying and crawled out of the tunnel towards me. I could see he had something on his mouth and chin and he was crawling funny and trying not to use his hands. My heart was racing. I feared the worst. And my suspicions were confirmed with a quick glance at Nathan, who was naked from the waist down. The velcro tab on one side of his diaper had come loose and he had managed to slide his leg out of the other leg hole, leaving him bare-bunned on the kitchen floor. Ryan had found a little turd nugget and eaten it.
In a split second I had to choose between cleaning up Nathan, who still had a bit of doo doo lurking in his nether regions, or cleaning up Ryan, whose hands and face were coated with the offensive mess. Ryan won. I scooped him up while screaming my made up words that I use in place of obscenities (son of a biscuit! sanitation! farfignewton! crimeny!) as the other kids roared with laughter. It was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. I rushed Ryan to the sink and washed his mouth out with water and scrubbed him down with soap. Then I had to catch Nathan and clean up his trail of poo across the floor. To be even more honest (and disgusting) I'll admit that our dog, Delmar, helped a bit with the cleanup process.
Once Nathan had been wiped down and the entire area had been sanitized, I gave Ryan some Cheerios. Obviously he'd been hungry and just reached for the wrong tasty morsel. Then I nursed him to remove any remnant of the nastiness in his mouth. And then I called my 14-year old nephew to wish him a happy birthday and tell him about the Doo Doo Fest. Because a teenage boy can certainly appreciate the humor in a good poop story. And he did.



Never a dull moment in this house!
