I could have done something a lot more interesting, but I made a quick, plain valance for the window. I only had this narrow strip of fabric left, so my options were limited. And then, when Matthew saw me sewing for Nathan & Ryan, I had to bust out the fabric I bought (2 years ago) for Matthew's bed. One "Shampoo" comforter completed and one very happy boy. (Matthew is especially fond of Shamu and has an attachment to the stuffed whale he brought home from Sea World 5 years ago. He always called him "Shampoo." He's wanted this blanket for a long time so it felt good to finally finish it.)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
She's Crafty
I could have done something a lot more interesting, but I made a quick, plain valance for the window. I only had this narrow strip of fabric left, so my options were limited. And then, when Matthew saw me sewing for Nathan & Ryan, I had to bust out the fabric I bought (2 years ago) for Matthew's bed. One "Shampoo" comforter completed and one very happy boy. (Matthew is especially fond of Shamu and has an attachment to the stuffed whale he brought home from Sea World 5 years ago. He always called him "Shampoo." He's wanted this blanket for a long time so it felt good to finally finish it.)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Countdown Is On
P.S.-Military families- If you have a minute, go over to my Blog Frog community and read the post from Annette. She's a military mom and her son is about to deploy. She's having a hard time and could really use any helpful tips or advice from those of you who have experience dealing with deployments. Do any of you military moms know of a way she can connect with other mothers facing a child's deployment?
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Judgement Day
Why is there such animosity between moms? Why the personal attacks on anyone who chooses something other than what you would choose?
I really, honestly do try not to judge others. It's a struggle. I'm only human. I can promise you that I do not look at a mom who did not breastfeed and silently condemn her. I do not hate mothers who choose to give birth in a hospital. (On the contrary, I've attended many hospital births as a doula to support moms in that environment.) I don't force my parenting choices on anyone else. I don't dislike working mothers. (I was one too.) I don't think that public schools are evil.
Regarding the car seat issue, I apologize if anything I said was interpreted as a personal attack. It was not. All I said was that the guidelines are supposed to keep kids safe, they don't seem that difficult to follow, and that I don't understand why there is such a controversy over them. That's it. That's just, like, my opinion, man.
I may make parenting choices that leave some of you wondering on earth I'm thinking. I know that what I choose to do for our family will not work for every family. I sometimes make mistakes. I'm not telling anyone that they should do things the way that I do them. Maybe I'm not a very good writer and sometimes things sound better in my head before I write them down. I have dozens of unpublished posts that I never got the courage to share. This blog was never intended to be any sort of parenting advice blog. I do not have all the answers, and I don't pretend to have all the answers. I can only share what goes on in our family.
Each of us, as moms, have to make the choices that are best for our families. I read and ask questions and talk to other moms to figure this whole parenting thing out because I'm constantly learning something new and I want to know more. We are never going to agree on everything. That's life. But let's do our best not to judge each other so much.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
New Car Seat Safety Guidelines
Basically, these organizations are finally suggesting that parents follow the safety standards that car seat safety experts have been recommending for the last several years. The new guidelines direct parents to keep children in a rear-facing car seat until at least age 2, then moving them into a forward-facing seat with a 5-point harness. Children that outgrow the 5-point harness should be in a booster seat until age 12 or until they are at least 4'9" and able to fit properly into a vehicle seat belt.
Much of this sounds like common sense to those who have researched car seat safety. But to many people (especially those without young children) this is stirring up some controversy. I have read some people leaving nasty comments about the new guidelines and heard others use that wonderful phrase, "Well, when I was a child we didn't even have car seats and I'm fine!" As a friend pointed out, if they had been in an accident they wouldn't be around to tell everyone that they're fine. Right? I just don't understand the reasoning for not following these simple guidelines.
It never ceases to amaze me that there are parents who do not safely restrain their children (or themselves) in a vehicle. A friend of mine once told me about how she holds her baby on her lap in the front seat of her van on long trips while her husband drives. A baby. On her lap. Not restrained. I just can't believe people really do that. Do they not realize that, in a crash, that baby becomes a flying object that shoots through the windshield? Mommy's arms are just not going to protect that sweet baby in a collision.
Then there are people that don't use car seats correctly, for whatever reason. A child is safest when in a rear-facing seat. Everyone would be safer in rear-facing seats! But many parents turn their children's seats around too quickly, placing them at increased (and unnecessary) risk. A toddler can safely ride rear-facing, even if their legs are bent. When comparing risks, the risk of a broken neck trumps a broken leg any day as far as I'm concerned. (Broken legs = cast it, broken neck = casket.)
There are car seats on the market today that allow children to remain rear-facing up to 40 lbs. Nathan and Ryan have a seat with a 40-lb limit and are still rear-facing. Their legs are bent but they love to travel in the van and don't seem to care at all about the position of their seat. My big boys stayed in their rear-facing seats until they were 35 lbs (which was the limit of the seat.) They didn't end up bow-legged. I wish that I could have kept Leila & Sarah rear-facing longer (they could still be rear-facing now) but our van could not accommodate all 4 rear-facing seats. You are limited by what car seats you have and by what vehicle you drive, of course.
Speaking of vehicles, my van is awful when it comes to car seat installation. We only have LATCH in two seat positions, we have no headrests in any of the back seats at all, we only have 3 tether anchors, and our seat belt buckles have an unusual placement. It's impossible to install certain seats in our van. For those with big families, I've heard that the Ford full-size van has better options than they Chevy (what we have) and that the Dodge Sprinter (what I have always wanted) has even better seating arrangements.
Still, vehicle issues aside, you can find the safest seat for your child and your vehicle that still follows the guidelines. There are so many seats available that you don't have to pay a fortune or buy a new vehicle to find something that works. I was able to keep Matthew and Joshua in a 5-point harness until last summer, only needing to switch their seats because of the lack of tethers in my van. They're both in belt-positioning boosters now. Matthew does have friends his age (8 years old) that don't ride in booster seats, but these kids are in adult seat belts that don't fit them properly. That's just not safe.
Sure, it's a pain to buckle kids in and out of car seats. Yes, it can be inconvenient. But it is worth it to keep them safe. Car accidents are the number one cause of death for children in the U.S. The extra time that it takes to buckle a child into their car seat will be worth it if there is an accident. It takes me forever to go anywhere with 6 kids in car seats but I just leave myself extra time for all of the buckling and unbuckling. It's definitely worth it.
I have always been concerned about vehicle safety. One of my biggest fears is getting into a car accident with my children on board. I suppose that my concern may, in part, be from past experiences. I walked away from 2 major car accidents thanks to my seat belt. Not many people get hit by a dump truck and live to tell about it. I also lost a cousin (a child) to a drunk driver and my brother-in-law is in a wheelchair because of a drunk driver. You just never know when someone else's driving is going to affect you.
I see it this way... There is only so much that I can really control when it comes to safety on the road. I can't control the other drivers around me. I can't control the way my vehicle will react in a collision. I can't control the weather or the road conditions. I can control my kids and their car seats. One of the best ways I can keep them safe is just to follow the car seat guidelines.
Remember the guidelines listed here.
The NHTSA recommendations:
Select a car seat based on your child's age, height, and weight.
Keep your child in the proper car seat for as long as possible.
All children under 13 should ride in the back seat.
Stay safe!
Monday, March 21, 2011
To The Leprokon
Much like my heart-shaped pancakes that I made pink (with strawberries) for Valentine's Day, I went with a green theme for St. Patrick's Day. We had green eggs that tasted much better than they looked.
I baked green bread that could have passed for moldy bread, but was warm out of the oven. We had green smoothies with less fruit and more spinach than usual so they were really green!
But that was the extent of my plans for St. Patrick's Day. Apparently I was supposed to help the kids catch a leprechaun?
Matthew rigged an elaborate "leprechaun trap" in his room. Joshua followed suit, even alarming his with a noise trigger so that he would be woken up when the leprechaun tripped the trap. Even the girls had two traps set up in their room. I totally don't remember doing this as a kid.
Matthew left notes for the leprechaun and tried to entice him with TV and a Dyson. (A Dyson? Seriously?) He told the little green guy that he was welcome to stay until 6am. I was trying so hard not to laugh at the incredibly cute notes that were left all around this trap!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Twins and Birth Order
Some of the things that the author mentioned were issues that many parents of multiples think about, read about, discuss, and debate- such as whether to dress twins alike or not. (I let my girls choose their clothes and they usually dress alike because they fight over clothes if they aren't wearing the same thing. My boys are usually in coordinating outfits of different colors.) He also briefly mentions mirror image twins (I have 2 sets of mirror image twins!) and some interesting twin statistics (which I've blogged about before.) One of the things that really surprised me, though, was the subject of birth order.
The author's parents had never allowed him to know who was the firstborn twin of the pair. When he and his brother asked, their parents refused to tell. Nobody in the family knew. He believes that this helped them to become separate individuals and not fall into the traditional roles of birth order where the older sibling is typically more dominant. This issue had never crossed my mind before. My twins are all young enough that they have never asked who was older of the pairs. In fact, the first person to ask me that question was Matthew. He watched Leila and Sarah being born and actually chose which baby would be named Leila. (We had not assigned names to them before birth.) Recently he has asked which of the twins were born first (he doesn't remember) so that he can have the children line up in birth order when waiting at the front door. It seemed like a totally benign question and so I told him that Leila was 14 minutes older than Sarah.
I really don't think that my daughters are old enough to understand (or care about) birth order. I don't think they fit the typical birth order traits. Actually, Sarah was "Baby A" and would have been born first until the girls switched places (repositioning from breech to vertex) at 36 weeks. Suddenly Leila became "Baby A" and was indeed born first. Sarah fits into the role of the firstborn child though, as she is more dominant and less timid than her sister.
Nathan and Ryan have not really displayed any behavior that makes me think that one is more outgoing than the other or that one is more of a leader than his brother. Maybe this will change in the future.
The author of the article also points out that he and his twin brother were always asked about their birth order. Everyone wanted to know who was older. I have not found this to be true at all for our family. I don't think I've ever had someone ask which twin was older from either pair. I don't know that the girls would even know the answer to that question. Perhaps this is something that will be asked of them when they are older, but for now it has never come up in conversation. (People typically just ask me if I have 3 sets of twins, if I have quads, whether I used fertility drugs or if twins run in my family!) Birth order has just never been questioned.
What do you think?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I Kissed A Moose
There's this little thing we've discovered since moving to Washington... When the sun comes out, you get out.
That's exactly what we've been doing.
It's come to the point that we now drop everything and go outside if the sun comes out. I have never appreciated dry weather so much in my life!
Our last day out involved a family trip to a local wildlife park.
We rode a tram and saw some of the animals that call the pacific northwest home.
We were sitting right behind the driver and I'm sure we were a bit annoying. The driver would ask questions about the different animals and my kids would call out all of the answers. The driver loved it and wanted to know how my kids knew about all of these animals. I realized that my kids have really learned a lot from our crazy adventures.
My kids remembered visiting Granddad With No Hair and driving through the Rocky Mountains where we saw our first moose. The heard the elk bugling last fall. We drove with the bison in South Dakota. I think they are really taking it all in, even when I am not sure they'll remember the places we visit.
I am quite sure that the big kids will always remember our time living here though. We are finally settling in and feeling at home. It's such an important transition for military families.
Part of getting out and enjoying this place has meant bringing The Beast out of retirement. Yes, I thought we were past the point of needing a quad stroller. But I was wrong. The reality is, I have twin toddlers who run in opposite directions and twin girls who have tiny little legs that tire out after walking approximately 10 yards. The Beast makes life so much easier and we can get out and go anywhere!
And that's just what we're doing.
I realize that I really need to get a zoom lens for my camera. See those little furry blobs in this picture? Those are wolves.
This furry blob is a bear. Just so you know.
Sometimes Jason gets impatient with me when I'm pushing The Beast up a steep incline. He'll tease me and ask why I'm not walking faster. And then I'll say something about how the stroller weighs more than me (it really does!) and I've been doing P90X but I'm still just a girl and the stroller is heavy. And then he'll grab the stroller and sprint up the hills and the big boys will chase him and I'll be left at the bottom of the hill wondering what just happened. And then we laugh until we collapse.
Things are crazy. Things are good. I'm still reading and rereading all of the helpful comments about babysitters. I have a few leads and I'm hoping to find someone (or a couple of someones) who I can trust with my children once we get back from our big trip.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Babbling About Babysitting
A break?!
Yeah, that. Jason and I have been on 3 dates since having children. Three dates in 8 years. We have also been to 3 military balls. So that's 6 nights out altogether. Lame, I know. But it's hard to get away.
Part of our problem in getting out together has just been finding a babysitter. The military lifestyle has made it challenging for me to be away from my kids. We don't have family nearby to babysit for us and even if we did, our kids are a lot for anyone to handle. We're often moving to a new area where we don't know anyone. We have to find new a new church, meet new neighbors, and learn our way around a new city.
On the one hand, I don't want to be away from my kids at all. On the other hand, I don't even remember what it's like to go out to dinner and a movie with my husband. But I still feel guilty just thinking about hiring a babysitter.
And then there's the details. Assuming I find a babysitter... How much do I pay them? How old should the babysitter be? Do I need more than one babysitter? Can a teenager handle 6 kids?
During our brief time in Virginia I learned a few things about babysitters. First of all, there are some people who just can't deal with 6 children. Six kids are a lot. Even my mom, who loves her grandchildren, just can't take more than one or two of them at a time. Second of all, homeschooled teenagers that can drive are perfect "mommy's helpers." Third, I know nothing about babysitting etiquette.
I remember reading comments on one of my posts last year in which there was discussion about what amount is a fair rate to pay for babysitting or for a mommy's helper. A mommy's helper is in the home with me, so I would think they would be paid less than a babysitter who is left alone with my children. Even if I hired a babysitter so that Jason and I could go out on a date, my kids would probably be in bed before we left the house. Bedtime with 6 kids is just too much crazy for most people. I would expect to pay more for babysitting during the day when all of the kids are awake and need to be supervised.
When I was used to babysit, I typically got $20 for watching 2 kids for about 4 hours. That included any tip I may have gotten. I changed diapers, put kids to bed, cooked meals, washed dishes, and cleaned the house up. I think that's why the parents all liked me. And I was cheap. I don't think I was ever paid more than twenty bucks. Now, times are different. Mommy's helpers are getting paid $10/hr. I am clueless.
How did you find your babysitter?
What age babysitter would be appropriate to hire to watch 6 kids?
What's the going rate these days?
How much do you tip?
Please fill me in!
Wordless Wednesday
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Hitting the Road (Again, Again, Again)
So I happened to glance at the calendar yesterday and a sudden sense of panic washed over me when I realized that I am leaving on another road trip in just 6 short weeks. Where has the time gone? It feels like it was just yesterday that we were anxiously awaiting Jason's return from Iraq and suddenly here we are, almost 6 months later. And once again, I'm headed out by myself with 6 kids in tow as we cross the country in our camper. The last time we made this trip was just 6 months ago when I drove from Georgia to Washington to be there for Jason's homecoming. This time, I don't have anything quite so wonderful to anticipate, although I am excited to see friends and family on the east coast again. But this time, I'm headed from Washington to Georgia to have surgery. Not so fun.
If you've read my blog for long, you have probably read my posts about the stones in my salivary gland and my (unrelated) dizziness. After having multiple, large stones removed from my salivary gland, the doctors have recommended that I have it removed. And seeing as how it's currently blocked by several more large stones at this very moment, I have to agree. The problem is that the surgeon here in Washington has never performed this surgery and wasn't even sure he'd get to practice on a cadaver before he did it on me. He told me that there aren't any surgeons in the state that do this type of surgery (using intraoral approach instead of 2-3 inch incision on outside of neck.) So I'm headed to the hospital in Georgia where the surgeon there is one of the best in this field. And while I'm there, his colleague is going to do surgery on my ear at the same time-getting 2 problems solved at once! (The surgeons here were going to make me have 2 separate surgeries.)
The ear surgery is sort of an unknown at this point. We don't know whether it will help with my dizziness. We don't know what they'll need to do until they cut my ear open and see how bad it is on the inside. They are planning to remove a cholesteatoma and correct the damage to my ear drum, with a second surgery in a few months to replace the tiny bones inside my ear with prosthetics. All in all, I'm probably going to be a bit of a mes for a few days!
After the surgeries, I'm driving from Georgia up to Virginia to visit family. Jason is flying to Virginia to meet us there. He hasn't seen his family in over a year, so this will be a fun trip for him. We'll have a week in Virginia before turning around and driving back to Washington.
One of the tough parts about being a military family is often living far from our extended family. With 6 young children, flying home is just not an option. Driving takes weeks, but it's the best way for us to get home. And knowing that this is our only trip home for the next 2 years makes it worth the trouble.
And so we are hitting the road again and surely chaos will ensue. This time I'm going to have a working laptop and I'm going to be blogging all along the way. Hopefully there won't be any dead cats, flat tires, broken towing equipment, or babies locking us out of the camper. But you never know...